Wholly Uninspired

Hmmm. “Wholly uninspired” is me. It’s cold, it’s gray, and most of all, I didn’t get the job I had my heart set on. Nor did I rate an interview. Heck … I didn’t even get an acknowledgment they’d received my application. My mother would have had a lot to say about their lack of manners.

Some of you know I’ve been job seeking for some time now. While I have a job – one with decent pay, longevity and good benefits – I long for one that’s fulfilling. One that makes me look forward to work because I am contributing to life on this planet in some meaningful way. This job I didn’t get felt right and sounded like it had been designed specifically for me. I applied and then allowed myself to dream and prematurely plan and now, instead of standing at the beginning of a new and exciting journey, I find I painted myself into a corner. Of a lonely room. In the dark. Silly old broad. You’d think I’d know better by now. My mother would have had a lot to say about that too.

Jobs these days are rather precious, especially anything over $8.00/hr! Among the folks who wish to be employed, the number of people searching is astonishing. Case in point - a recently advertised receptionist position at the local grad school had 39 applicants – many of them master’s level graduates! Sad. So given the state of the employment world, not to mention my age (yeah, yeah, I’ve heard all that baloney about equal opportunity), I’m trying to remember to count my blessings. I’m really trying. Should you pass me on the sidewalk or pull up next to me at the stop light and my lips are moving, know that I’m counting. Out loud. Trying to soothe my savaged ego and my dashed hopes.

The first and foremost blessings on my “blessing list” are, like yours I hope, my family members (2 and 4 legged), my wonderful friends and my health. After that, the list has changed a bit since the job application process. I’m counting gifts I’ve recently forgotten to celebrate.

While I didn’t land this job, my state of blessedness, and thus my blessing list, was enhanced in a way I certainly hadn’t anticipated. Part of the application process, naturally, was to submit letters of reference. I asked for, and received, letters from four folks in my life with whom I have worked at one time or another – four folks who know me well and who could address my qualifications for the job in question. I was, quite bluntly, astonished by what they wrote. Each letter brought out the “aw shucks” in me. Each made me feel special and worthy and eminently qualified. Wow! The lights came on revealing my treasure chest full of blessings and I'm back on track.

For now, I shall practice gratitude for my comfortable “old” job and will gaze at these letters (which I’m tempted to frame and put on the wall!) to lift me above the ruts and remind me that when the opportunity to shine presents itself, I am capable and qualified.

Hear me roar!